Lessons From Elizabeth Smart’s Kidnapping

Keeping the line bold between abusers and victims over all types of abuse

Elizabeth woke to a knife at her throat and a threat to stay quiet or her younger sister, lying next to her in bed, would be killed. Terrified, 14-year-old Elizabeth went with her kidnapper more concerned about protecting her family than herself. She went on to have a sensational story of being married as a second wife to an evil, narcissistic psychopath who raped her daily for nine months. Finally found and rescued by the police, she went home to throngs of well-wishers and reporters rejoicing in her safe return.

Celebrations are proper and good in such situations. A child captive set free and returned to a loving family who never quit their desperate search for their daughter breaks all of our hearts. The sexual perversion foisted onto her makes our blood boil. It should.

Our culture understands kidnapping and sexual enslavement. There are many wonderful supports for survivors and great understanding from family and public alike. We want to read the survivors’ stories and hear about their struggle and strength. We are inspired to stay vigilant for our own family.

Imagine if no one had even known that Elizabeth Smart was missing. Then she turns up and tells people about what happened to her. Her parents scathingly accuse her of being a liar and the public tells her that kidnappings and sexual enslavement don’t happen. Friends turn against Elizabeth and she becomes an outcast to her family. She goes to church and hears over and over about how she hasn’t forgiven people in her life and is shamed that she isn’t happy and vibrant in life.

This doesn’t happen in Elizabeth Smart types of kidnappings and horror. But there are other sexual abuse genres (if you will) that turn out very much just like our crazy example. The situations I am talking about are as turned upside down from Elizabeth’s true abuse as can be.

I HATE the word “incest”, but I will go with it because it is universally understood. It is a neat and tidy word that explains raping and sexual viewing/touching. These are children who are sexually abused in the home. While people know that it truly happens, there is huge societal pressure not to discuss it and not to get involved in rescuing these children. There is huge family backlash if any abused child gets out of line, and if the child (or adult if they disclose later in life) doesn’t recant the abuse, the victim will get kicked out of the family. Then they sit in churches and hear about how unforgiving they are, shaming the victim instead of speaking out against the perpetrators. Many times, the perpetrators themselves are sitting in the seats.

Satanic Ritual Abuse victims are treated even worse. Most times they are taken to the rituals by their own parents where they are sexually tortured and horrificaly traumatized by death and blood of animals and sometimes humans. In this case, society says that SRA doesn’t happen and feel sorry for the poor family that had this horrible accusation foisted against them by their own child. These victims are also kicked out of the family and are seen as mentally crazy.

It is interesting to compare law enforcement and courtroom reactions to the three different types of abuse we are talking about today. In the kidnapping/sexual abuse scenarios, it is very obvious to society who the bad guy is, who the innocent victim is, and the perpetrator goes to jail for a very long time. In incest cases, many times they never even make it into the courtroom. If they do, it is hard to get a conviction with the blurred lines between perpetrator (but he is a pillar in society! He would never…) and the victim (if this was true, why didn’t she tell a teacher when she was young? She would have told someone!). Sometimes the defense will go so far as to say the victim made it up. If there is a conviction, there is not very much jail time at all.

In SRA it even more bizarre. The parents immediately turn the entire family against the victim if they speak out. They are either quickly recant, or they are outcasts from their family. The family turns viciously against the victim and tries to shame them in front of their family and friends. Society says that they don’t believe it ever happens. Churches don’t know what to do with the victims, and tend to think they are more demonically controlled and need demons cast out. Here not only is the victim made guilty, but their very spirituality is questioned.

Hearing the story of Elizabeth Smart gives me hope. If society can understand the kind of abuse that happened to her, then I believe incest will one day be seen in the same black/white view. Maybe one day SRA will as well.

If you are still reading this, I thank God for you. It is time that society gets educated on all abuses, not just the ones that make logical sense. Society not wanting to deal with or know about incest or SRA is unacceptable. Our churches need to step up and start helping the victims instead of shaming them.

I thank God that Elizabeth Smart was rescued. I highly recommend her book, “My Story”. As you look closely at how easy it is in her case to figure out who was the bad guy and who was the victim, I encourage you to extrapolate that to incest and SRA as well. We need to call out abuse and abusers. If they face what they have done here and now, not only will it alert others to their perversions, it will save those abuses from being thrust on other children. The only way to save incest and SRA victims is through education and prevention. You cannot prevent what you refuse to look at.

 

Anniversary Take One

Congratulations! You have been putting up with my all over the place blog for a whole year! I wish WordPress would send you all the anniversary badge that they sent me, because you deserve it. Thank you for taking your time to read my blogs, to respond or reply, and to become my friends.

My first blog was  The Secret Things. Boy did I have a lot to learn. (And I still do. I am surprisingly not really considered a techy kind of girl).

I had so many ups  A Homeschooling High and downs Living Forty Decibels Up. (Like a roller coaster!) You encouraged me so much! I was way too emotional Another Day Lost, and sometimes just silly Sunbathing in the Throne Room.

My topics were certainly diverse. I talked about my walk with God Help! I’m at church!, homeschooling The “I Have to Teach What?” Meltdown, parenting Coming Out of the Parenting Hazes, writing Coffee Break; Cream, no Sugar, sexual abuse Flashback, publishing sexual abuse and publishing, philosophy Coffee and Meandering Life Philosophies, stories The Bull, the Apple Tree and Me and my new job with VIPkids A Fun New Job and This Time I Get Paid.

This year I also got serious about poetry, which is the biggest way I have worshiped God Look Up, worked through sra and ptsd There Is a Child, and my personal favorite  There is a Line.

You have shared so many aspects of my life, and I appreciate your great support. I also learned about so many of you and about your lives. Sometimes you have even been gracious to allow me to share your work on my site Guest Vision Sharer and one of my favorite blogs redheadmom8.wordpress.com written by Shelly.

I entitled my blog “God is Good” because it is the one thread throughout all of the different topics I have addressed. It shows that no matter what I go through in life, God is a part of it, and that He is good. Simplistic maybe, but deep always. I see that He is good in each of your lives as well  God Really is Good.

It will be interesting to see where this new  year will lead. Thank you, again. You have been great and I appreciate your continued friendship and support, likes and comments. You are as much of a part of this blog as I am :).

 

 

 

Arrows

Arrows that hit their mark.

I have lived my past
In constant terror
Pain and anguish
Devilish horror

Why twist it
An arrow create
Straight in my heart
Dead center fate

If you wanted
To deeply hurt
You can witness
Blood on my shirt

Do you rejoice
At what have done
Relish the victory
Claim that you won

Conquer you have
Gloat if you must
You have violated
All of my trust

I have to face
All over again
How I fail now
How I hurt then

I would never
Have believed
So much evil
You could heave

I must talk less
Engage no more
An emotional ball
Left on the floor

By Lisa M Meister

I Saw You

Finally accepting my little one inside.

I saw you the other day
Just a flash
A shock out of the darkness
A glimpse of the girl
I wanted to forget

I had seen your shadow
Stopping by
Over the years
But I pushed you away
I didn’t want tears

But in that flash
That moment suspended through time
That raw spot in my chest
Reached out to you
To understand

I did not want
To see you again
You disrupted my life
Time after time
Even as you were forgotten

That touch
Brief as it was
Opened the vault
I had sealed for eternity
Long ago

You sent another flash
And there you were
Bruised dirty alone
Forgotten
I had put you there

I looked long and hard
Your desperation
And I walked up to you
Slapped your face
How dare you

You curl in a ball
I stomp away
My chest bleeds
My head pounds
I hear you cry

I can’t sleep
The echo of your cry
The pitiful picture
You display
Takes my appetite

What is wrong with you
Leave me alone
Go away
I cannot deal with you today
Or ever

I can’t breathe
The pain in my chest
Reaches out
To the one
I can no longer leave behind

Another flash
I walk back
To the past
I will not hurt you
Anymore

You look up at me
Tears of the unwashed
Forgotten child
I look at your face
You are me

All you want
Is for me to pick you up
Accept legitimacy
You are the one
Who never lied to me

I take you back
To the present
The only place
I can keep you safe
Protected

Now you are washed
Appreciated
Loved and accepted
Believed
We are now we

Meadow Walkin’

By Lisa M Meister

The stream flows past an even pace
Though rapid yesterday it was
Sometimes the water is clear as glass
Or murky brown with mud the cause

The meadow’s edge kiss-es the stream
Whatever may be the flow
But no matter how it goes on by
I am safe sitting in the meadow

Green blankets the meadow where I now sit
The sun shines down quite warmly
Happy be the stream that ambles by
So I can bask quite nicely

The flowers beckon me further in
I go to inspect their beauty
The fragrance wafts upon the wind
The bees buzz by so happy

Peaceful am I and quite relaxed
Not much to require my thinking
I realize I have entered in
Where my heart was yearning

I hear a roar and walk back to
My little srteam no longer
White foam as waves’ waters crest
I stare at it in wonder

My attention pulls to the waves
Peacefulness flees yonder
The meadow really stays the same
Yet I eye the flow much longer

I forget the meadow as I stare
My mind dulls and gets frozen
I know not time I’m waste’n here
As if my body dozin’

A gentle tap upon my shoulder
Whomsoever could it be
I turn and see the Good Shepherd
He says come follow me

Into the meadow go I again
Hand in hand with my Savior
The meadow once again brings peace
I want to stay forever

If within the meadow stay
Warm in my Shepherd’s care
All will be well, I’ll overcome
Of the waves I’m unaware

Soldiering Up

It’s time to get tough and be who God wants us to be.

By Lisa M Meister

Sleepily
Tending my life
Evaluating
Where should I be

Sage questions of old
Simmering
Spinning question marks
Trying to grab answers
Out of the air

Philosophers’ pursuits
Poet’s muse
Who am I
To answer
What wisdom cannot

I flip through
The well known pages
In my mind
Kernels of truth sown
Wisdom will impart

God takes me where I am
Not where I should think
He wants me
Wasting time
Scouring my mind
He is enough

Yet still I struggle
Looking back at my path
So wobbily walked
Looking forward
Wanting a soldier’s
Confident march

Am I not God’s soldier
Fearless
Ready for anything
But I tremble
My armor creaks

Today be I strong
Or yesterday weak
I despise the extremes
May I walk Trusting Him
In the continuum

Lord make me
Consistent
As I have never been
Give me strength in my armor
Courage in my heart
Clear thinking
Tangled with your Word

Let it be said
Though I have been weak
I have been strong
Heart true to God
That no matter where
This battle takes me
I am His
And that
Is where I should be

When Words are All I Have

When your power of words escape you…

Words
Have let me down
Again

They
Are my only way
To express
What I feel
And saw
Yet cannot say

I
Craft them
Play with them
Twist them around
Be clever
But I cannot
Come
Close

Feeling words
So fickle
Their definitions
Uninspiring
Weak

Words
Leave me
When needed
Most
I am left
Bereft

Alone
Emotions intense
Will explode
Must express
No words
Come

Words
Cannot express
What I saw
What I felt
Not then
Or
Now

What
Can I do
They are all
I
Have

To sum
I cannot write
What happened
In any way
To understand
Because words
Have let me down
Again

There is a Line

A poem on the journey of healing.

By Lisa M. Meister

There is a line
I did not draw
Stark and bold
Toward it I crawl
There is terror here
It yanks me back
I will not make it
I will crack

There is a line
I can not see
I am lost
In great misery
I really can’t
Go this trek
I am hopeless
Suicidal wreck

There is a line
I am told
You can get there
My hand just hold
But hopeless am I
For what I know
There is no strength
For me to go

There is a line
I do not know
Why it’s there
Or what it shows
But I will work
Scratch and claw
Cry and weep
Give it all

There is a line
Behind I see
When I passed
Is beyond me
Silently
It came and went
I ponder it
What it meant

There is a line
Where terror shrieks
Or sun and peace
The other side speaks
I listen to both
I look into mind
I have decided
To leave past behind

There is a line
That I went over
It was just
One step closer
I watch the line
Grow far away
And live my future
Day by day

Rabbit Recognition Award

The Rabbit Recognition Award

Thank you, Lottie, for nominating me for the Run Recognition Award! Lottie runs a blog called Run Rabbit Run  which I highly recommend. She can be found at runrabbitrun.wordpress.com . Lottie is a survivor of Satanic Ritual Abuse and courageously and strongly blogging about it and writing a book that will come out soon called “Run Rabbit Run”, which I will definitely be buying.

It is hard for someone to step up and tell others that they are a sexual abuse survivor, but to say that they are an SRA survivor takes a lot of courage. Lottie has inspired me to be more vocal in my blogging world about ritual abuse and dissociative disorders. She is active on bloggers who are talking about sa, sra, and did, encouraging and instilling energy. She has a love of life and wants to share it with others.

Even if you are not a survivor, reading her blog will inspire you. Everyone has difficulties in life, and reading about what she has been through and how she has handled it will be worth the read to help you through your life.

This award is especially exciting because it is the first time I have been nominated for one! Hence, I have no idea how to run this or to place an award. So hang in there with me while I give this my best shot.

I started blogging in January for the first time ever. I have loved writing since second grade, took some writing courses growing up, and published an article and Sunday School Curriculum. Then I homeschooled four children and had no time. Now I have one child left to school and time to start something just for me. That is how I started, and that is why I post in so many different areas. I really enjoy the entire process and have met so many people that I greatly admire.

If you are a new blogger, welcome. The whole process is very overwhelming, but learning is a step by step process. Stick to learning one thing at a time and move on. You also learn so much by visiting other blogs, following them and getting to know them. But most of all, have fun!

MY NOMINATIONS:
These nominations are for the courageous bloggers I admire for their work with survivors of abuse and their healing:

https://emotionsoflife2016.wordpress.com

https://positivelypeculiar.wordpress.com

https://patriciajgrace.wordpress.com/

https://stillbeloved.wordpress.com/2015/11/29/trauma-restoring-faith

https://trippingovertypeset.com/

https://bethanykays.com/

https://writingandalcohol.wordpress.com/

https://ipbchigi.wordpress.com/

https://amourdreamer.wordpress.com/

https://tellingheavysecrets.wordpress.com/

https://brokenfingernails.com/

https://couragecoaching.wordpress.com/

https://tellingheavysecrets.wordpress.com/

https://fromthedarkintothesunshine42.wordpress.com/

https://brilliancewithin.com/

Congratulations all my friends. Many of you I have just met for the first time and fell in love with your blogs. Keep up your good work and thank you for caring so much about others.

 

Here goes, let’s see if I did it correctly…

 

You Have Got to be Kidding!

What do we do when we don’t see God’s big picture?

Everybody identifies with poor Gideon. There he was, fearfully thrashing his wheat in the middle of the night, minding his own business, when he had an encounter with the Lord. Then God got a little crazy, he called Gideon a “mighty man of valor”, and everyone knew that wasn’t true. Then God calls Gideon to get the Mideonites out of the land.

God must have known what he was doing, but Gideon didn’t. So he had a couple questions while he had God’s attention for a few minutes.

  1. Oh my Lord, if the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us?
  2. Where be all his miracles which our father’s told us?

“But now the Lord hath forsake us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.”

Gideon had good questions. He didn’t understand what was going on in their country and why God hadn’t fixed it. He really was confused.

God doesn’t answer Gideon’s at all. He just tells Gideon what to do. God said, “Go in this they might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites, have I not sent thee?

God doesn’t always give us the answers we want. Sometimes we are angry with Him for not intervening. But God just doesn’t answer our questions:

Deuteronomy 29:29 says

“The secret things belong unto the Lord our God. But those things which are revealed belong unto us and our children forever, that we may do all the words of the law”.

Some questions God answers, and some He doesn’t. So when life is rough and you are thrashing wheat in the middle of the night so the enemy doesn’t find you, remember this:

God ALWAYS has a reason, and His reason is perfect. Just trust. Gideon did and look what happened to him!

Taken from Judges 6