Mrs. Burrows discovered my love for writing in second grade. While everyone else went out for recess, I would be working on my story, Mrs. Burrows having stapled several more sheets of that fat-lined paper into my writing book. I was hooked for life.
Sexually abused children often disappear into a world other than the abusive one. Reading gave me a plethora of places and themes in which I could write. Writing provided a world in which I had the power of the outcome; a drop of power in a glass with my abuser getting all the rest of them. He didn’t know I had power in my reading and writing world and if he had, he would have found a way to destroy it.
I kept writing and writing and writing, and here I am, staying the course. My writing is such a powerful expression of what is going on deep inside that sometimes I have to write just to find out what I am thinking and feeling. It’s my mind talking to me because I can’t hear it any other way.
I have been published a bit in children’s Sunday School literature and adult magazines. I have taken college level courses in writing for children. These small achievements have given me the small idea that maybe I can write and maybe others will read it.
Writing a book about my sexual abuse and how God was with me through it has been my latest step in putting my life together and finding some sort of meaning in it. I labored over this book for a year and it made me suicidal at one point. But I didn’t give up and now it is done.
Apparently writing a book is less than half the work. Getting published is a whole crazy world of it’s own. I am researching writing proposals, queries, synopsis, marketing, figuring out who will buy it and on and on. This isn’t needed just for the publishing house, it’s also for the literary agent that apparently you have to have to break into their world. They give your proposal about eight seconds to decide if your proposal gets thumbs up or down.
I am discouraged by all the negativity the “experts” are dooming and glooming us with, even before I write my first proposal. But I have beat odds before fighting for healing from my childhood abuse. I would propose that healing is a much more difficult journey than publishing.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Until that time I will not give up, because that is what survivors do, even in the publishing world. I am so glad that Mrs. Burrows understood that.